Getting Out of My Own Way
Doing the thing you are meant to do
You’re not going to be ready until you’re almost done with a project, because a lot of the answers you need are not going to happen until you’re on the journey. And that’s what keeps most people from doing it.”
– Robert Rodriguez, The Tim Ferriss Show
Friends,
At the beginning of the year, I made a commitment to myself that I would finish my book in 2025. An easy ask, you would think given a year is 365 days long and a significant portion of the research and writing was already done. If only. This book is one of the hardest things I have done and has been a much longer process than I thought. It has challenged me not just to get the words on the page but to examine and re-examine my perspective and to question what making purpose real and being a leader truly means.
I had a realisation quite early in the year that this book and I were in lockstep. It is moulding me as much as I am moulding it. This process is as much about who I am becoming in the writing of the book as the book itself. It is aiding the integration and completion of my own transformative journey. As I have worked my way through the chapters, it has felt like the theme of the chapter has arisen in my life to make me experience it again. The process of writing it is helping me complete a cycle in my life by integrating all the learnings, change and transformation I have experienced over the last 8 years.
Completing things is always difficult for me. I love the freshness of new projects. I am never short of ideas to write about, new business ideas, new ways to disseminate my work. In that abundance lies a challenge. I have to manage myself and put structure around the volume of ideas I have. I also write in a lot of different formats. I write this Substack. In the last three years, the word count of the essays published here could probably fill two books. I write keynotes for speaking engagements. And for the last two years, I have been writing this book.
I also need internal bandwidth to complete big projects. In that light, the final ascent to completing this book was always going to challenge me.
At the beginning of the summer, I felt this inner knowing that I should pause my Substack for a few months and concentrate on the book. The resistance to this idea was real. It has been interesting to observe my internal grappling with this choice. To see the fear of letting go of control. The fear of putting something down to commit to something important. This is often the hardest task – taking the risk of focusing on what’s most important – be that work, family or creative pursuits. To let go of everything we think we should be doing and lean fully into what we KNOW we should be doing.
To finish the book is to take a risk. There is no guarantee of success – financial or otherwise – from completing it. But to not finish it would be a mistake. What we are destined to make real in the world always tests us. We don’t get it easily – that’s the point. Purpose asks us to risk ourselves. It gives us the struggles specific to our calling so we can overcome them and become the person capable of the task. That’s the prize. Everything else is secondary.
In September, I saw the legendary producer Rick Rubin speak at a conference. He spoke about the need to get out of the way when it comes to creativity. I lament my transformative process has been one long journey of getting over myself and getting out of my own way. So here I am, getting out of my own way. I am at the final hurdle, and I need to create space. I hope you will all forgive me as I take a break from publishing here until the end of the year. Perhaps it will inspire you to look at what you need to put down to focus on something important.
I have timed a couple of older posts which you may not have read to come out during this fallow period. There are also many essays in the library you can read: Directory - Expression with Fiona English and 30 Curated Content posts to browse if you haven’t done so already.
I will be back refreshed and with an update on what will hopefully be a completed book in January.
Until then,
Fiona
*In terms of logistics, for any of you who wish to pause your subscription, there is a facility on Substack which will allow you to do this for specified time.