What Does Spirituality Mean to Me?
Like many people, my introduction and subsequent rejection of spiritual practice was through a pre-defined religion. One I was born into…
Like many people, my introduction and subsequent rejection of spiritual practice was through a pre-defined religion. One I was born into with little choice but to participate as a child. By the time I was a teenager, I didn’t really pay much attention to the teaching of religion. At its core, I felt, it clashed with how I valued my personal autonomy. Too many rules, contradictions and not enough soul. Looking back, I realise I was also angry. At the surface I felt I was being dictated to but somewhere deep inside me I felt something was stolen from me. I didn’t realise until years later that something was fundamental to who I am as a person.
And this something was always calling me back. I dipped in and out of different concepts over the years. I read books by spiritual teachers, agreeing on an intellectual level with what they wrote but not fully incorporating it into my daily life. I even considered completing a degree in comparative religion at one point, such was my fascination and thirst for knowledge about world religions. In reality, I was in conflict. On one side, I rejected the idea of certain teachings and rule-based organisations. On the other hand, I kept seeking it out.
Religion and Spirituality were topics that both scared and intrigued me in equal measure.
Joseph Campbell said “It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure”. Religion and Spirituality were topics that both scared and intrigued me in equal measure. I realised my trust in anything spiritual had been tarnished by my early exposure to doctrine which I believed to be unkind and lacking in compassion. While I remained curious, I was also defensive. Religion and control were very interwoven for me. To satisfy my deep need and ultimately find the treasure of my true self, I needed to address my resistance. To do this, I had to unpick the concepts of Religion and Spirituality and put it all back together in a way that served me and my life.
My first step was to stop approaching spirituality from a purely intellectual perspective. This stance was my defence mechanism in disguise. In reality, it was a sanitisation of myself and my spirituality. To overcome this, I needed to embody it more, to embrace the vulnerable aspects of myself, my spiritual needs and not to look at it so cognitively. Spirituality has the power to bring something magical and mystical into our lives. If we try and put it into logical boxes, we dim the very light we are trying to reveal. Our minds might seek scientific proof, but our souls are intuitive and require a greater connection and wisdom than the mind can understand.
Part of my resistance turned out to be time
Part of my resistance turned out to be time. I never stopped to invest the time to nurture spirituality as a daily part of my life. I would start most years with great intentions, watch videos of spiritual leaders, start a journal and promise myself I would meditate and go to yoga more. If I was feeling pretty determined, I would book a holiday which incorporated my own version of spiritual practice, maybe a trip to visit temples and meditate or a holiday focused on hiking, a favourite spiritual practice of mine. I finally realised, when it came to my spirituality — at best I was lazy, in reality, I was negligent.
Spirituality is a process of questioning and exploring not just established spiritual practices but exploring who you are
The irony is I now understand time itself is a spiritual practice for me. I need time to contemplate. When I treat time as an endless commodity, my life becomes less sacred. Prioritising time with yourself is part of any spiritual practice. We can’t hear what we need if we don’t take the time to listen. Spirituality is a process of questioning and exploring not just established spiritual practices but exploring who you are. Spirituality is a part of your identity. It involves rediscovering and uncovering who you are and striving towards revealing a level of authenticity and individuality in a world which wants to make you conform. Spirituality can just be as simple as saying yes to what your soul desires. But if you don’t set aside the time to ask, how will you ever know?
Re-embracing and nurturing my spiritual side made me feel more whole. That part I rejected as a teenager came to the surface and turned out to be a missing link for me. It is this part I try to explore more now. To nourish it. The word Spirituality comes the Latin “spiritus” meaning “to breathe”. I love this. To have spirit is to breathe. To breathe is to be alive. Cultivating this part of myself makes me feel more alive and freer. The freedom I craved in my teenage years was there all along in the exact place I was ignoring. Through investing in this part, I feel more connected to myself and, as a result, I feel more connected to everyone and everything. This is what Spirituality means to me.
A spiritual practice or path is a personal journey
Yet I am just one individual. A spiritual practice or path is a personal journey. It is these journeys that interest me the most. What does it truly mean to be spiritual? What does it look like as a lived experience of people? I am fascinated by the richness of our life experiences; the ups, the downs, the life transitions, the recoveries, the meaning we attach to things. The revealing of who we are and how we want to be in the world. The most exciting part for me is it is possible that for each person alive today there is a different answer to these questions.
I want to live in a world which creates a space for everyone to have the agency to express their spiritual side
There are many pathways to spirituality. I want to live in a world which honours and creates a space for everyone to have the agency to express their spiritual side. There is beauty in this diversity and an opportunity to learn.
Yet despite the volume of practices, ideas and growing secularisation of spirituality, we remain thirsty for connection and meaning in our lives. There is no one prescription for this. I don’t believe in one-size-fits-all solutions in any aspect of life or work. But I do believe that the starting point is to take the time to understand what you need. Individually, we can each experiment with spiritual practices and beliefs to find the right dress size.
That is why I launched ‘Exploring Spirituality’, a series of projects and talks aimed at creating open dialogue and conversations about spirituality in the 21st Century. All projects share the idea of creating safe spaces for people to explore what spirituality means to them without judgement or agenda. The soul of the project is focused on asking questions to help us find our own answers. This is always about questions not answers. Questions keep us open-minded, curious and willing to accept uncertainty. Answers make us rigid, lacking in perspective and ultimately seeking certainty. Living a spiritual life is about the former rather than the latter.
Spirituality is a process not a single ceremony, an understanding of Self not a predefined event or outcome. It can be a life long journey of searching and learning and understanding ourselves more. Through this journey we can reclaim as people who we are both individually and collectively. And hopefully, along the way, we discover our ability to really shine.