Why Are We Afraid to Talk About Spirituality?
Something really interesting happened to me last week. For the first time in longer than I can remember, I was nervous before speaking at…
Something really interesting happened to me last week. For the first time in longer than I can remember, I was nervous before speaking at an event. Although I believe a little dose of nerves gives the adrenalin required for energy on stage, this was different. I was actually nervous. This is a slightly strange admission for someone who both speaks at events regularly and coaches other people to do the same. So, what happened?
I reflected on it over the weekend and it really came down to two issues; one personal and one more collective. Personally, this was a more exposing talk for me. It focused on my research on spirituality and, by extension, spirituality in my own life. I have spent a lot of my working life speaking at events globally and, often when you are on stage, you adopt a certain persona. It’s a way of being that makes you comfortable and allows you to deliver your message with confidence. Effectively, it is protection. But when you transition from speaking about economics and equity markets to speaking about spirituality and meaning in life, as I have done, the very thing that made you a good speaker in one discipline can be your Achilles’ heel in another. I can’t adopt a stage persona now when I speak about spirituality because the story is just as much about me and my spiritual journey as it is about the theme of spirituality. It is both a reflection of me and means something to me. That’s a different, more vulnerable, space to occupy on a stage.
Spirituality is still considered ‘alternative.’
The second reason is broader. It is around acceptance of my subject matter. Many people consider spirituality a bit ‘woo-woo’. Like I might arrive to speak in a kaftan with flowers in my hair. People are sometimes surprised when they meet me (perhaps due to the lack of said kaftan). This woman is speaking about spirituality? And she used to work in investment? How does that work? Spirituality is an innately human experience and yet we still view it as ‘alternative’. I would argue that in a world in which the influence of technology continues to grow anything which is uniquely human should be receiving more attention.
Spirituality is a mega-trend globally.
In fact, the genesis of my interest in researching spirituality was broader than merely personal. It is formed out of my experience in investment. One of my favourite parts of working in an investment environment is that we are examining trends and themes globally. At the heart of these trends and themes is human behaviour. Decisions each of us make daily influence investment trends. Simple examples include how the insatiable appetite of consumers for smart phones drives the success of certain technology companies or how our increased environmental awareness is pushing companies to develop more sustainable products and practices.
Spirituality fits in this sphere. Spirituality is a mega-trend. The PEW Institute in the US noted last year that 27% of Americans now call themselves spiritual but not religious. This is up 8 percentage points in just 5 years₁. In one psychology database, there is 5 times as much academic research on spirituality in this decade compared to the 1990s. Simple observation appears to confirm this. Spiritual practices such as yoga have exploded in popularity globally while retreats are some of the fastest growing travel trends. Not so ‘alternative’ after all.
It is not that we don’t want to talk about spirituality. We are afraid to.
Yet, people continuously ask me, do you think we can discuss spirituality in the workplace? This is the wrong question. The real question should be; why can’t we discuss it in the workplace? People actively seek me out when they hear my story. My decision to explore my own spirituality in a deeper way has really resonated with them. And usually they also tell me they don’t typically tell anyone that. It is not that we don’t want to talk about spirituality. We do. But we are collectively afraid. An ex-colleague told me recently that he had no idea I was interested in this topic, that I never discussed it. He is correct, I didn’t discuss it because I was worried about how it might be received. That if I revealed my spiritual side, it might result in the dilution of my credibility in an environment which prized my intellectual abilities. It seems so ridiculous to me to write that now but it’s the truth and I know from speaking to people I am not alone.
I am at my best when I look after my spiritual wellbeing.
We are all searching for a greater sense of self. This sense of self is found when we look after our spiritual wellbeing. I find it amazing that we will go to the gym for our physical wellbeing, seek coaching to improve our leadership abilities and emotional intelligence but we don’t prioritise our spiritual wellbeing. I was guilty of this for too long and it was a mistake. I am the best version of myself when I have nurtured this part of myself first. There is nothing ‘woo-woo’ about spirituality in my life. It is fundamental to who I am and what I bring.
The soul of any business is the collective purpose of people.
Spirituality goes to the heart of who we are. We need to give ourselves and each other permission to talk about and nurture our spiritual selves. One research paper viewed the increase in interest in spirituality as representative of more people seeking the ‘essence of what it means to be human’₂. Can we really afford to leave any part of the essence of what it means to be human aside for 40 hours a week? Indeed, workplaces with no scope for discussing spirituality will struggle to espouse clear meaning and purpose to employees and consumers alike. Meaning and purpose are traditionally spiritual constructs. Spirituality taps into the soul of who we are just like meaning and purpose in a business context goes to the heart of that company’s reason to exist. The soul of any business is collective purpose of people working there.
What does spirituality mean to you?
Let’s stop being afraid. To encourage the prioritisation of our spiritual wellbeing, we need to expand narrow perceptions about what spirituality is and can be. I wasn’t interested in finding new definitions for spirituality, I was curious as to what it meant to other people. My research question was simply; ‘what does spirituality mean to you?’. When we are curious about others, we hold space for them to be to curious about themselves. We give people permission to explore and cultivate their spiritual wellbeing. Let’s start a conversation and ask each other; ‘what does spirituality mean to you?’
#spirituality #meaning #purpose #positive psychology #whatdoesspiritualitymeantoyou?
References:
₁Lipka, M., & Gecewicz, C. (2017). More Americans now say they’re spiritual but not religious. Washington, DC: Pew Research Center. Retrieved August 19, 2019, from https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/09/06/more-americans-now-say-theyre-spiritual-but-not-religious/
₂van Dierendonck, D. (2004). The construct validity of Ryff’s Scales of Psychological Well-being and its extension with spiritual well-being. Personality and Individual Differences, 36(3), 629–643. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0191-8869(03)00122-3